If I do, stop reading.
I've had a few "major" issues on my mind lately, so I'm going to share a bit. This will probably be an extremely long piece, but if it keeps me occupied and off Facebook, it's good.
Issue #1
Valentine's Day and Singularity
19 years gone by without a Valentine. And I'm okay.
When I looked up the definition of "valentine" on merriam-webster.com, it said 1) a sweetheart chosen or complimented on Valentine's Day, 2) a gift or greeting sent or given especially to a sweetheart on Valentine's Day: a greeting card sent on this day. Then I ventured to look up "sweetheart". The definitions I received: 1) darling, 2) one who is loved, or 3) a generally likable person. Then of course, I had to see how Webster defined "love." He defined it as 1) noun: attraction based on sexual desire, affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests, and 2) verb: to hold dear: cherish; (or my personal favorite) caress.
Love in today's world is more a feeling than an action. Love has become so shallow compared to the meaning of love in the ancient world. There were four words for love in Ancient Greek: agape, eros, philia, and storge. Agape is sacrificial love (the word used in 1 Corinthians 13); also used to denote feelings of general affection or feelings of contentment or holding one in high regard. Eros is the passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. This is an interesting way to define it:
Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. (wikipedia.org)
The third word is philia: basically the love you have for friends, a dispassionate, virtuous love that requires loyalty to family and friends. And the final love is storge. Although it is rarely used in ancient texts, it means the natural affection (like parents have for children).
I find it baffling that the definition of love has gone from being so broad to so shallow and superficial. I guess what I'm trying to get at is the fact that I'm absolutely okay with not having had a valentine because I have God. I have my Jesus. His love is enough for me. I'm learning about myself in a way that wouldn't be possible if I had to worry about learning about another person, as well.
My singularity is a much needed aspect of my life right now. I guess a lot of you may say, "But you've been single for your whole life! Why do you think you still need to be single?" That's easy. God has a plan for me. Who knows, that plan may include some wonderful boy and it may be within the next couple months (or quite possibly the next couple years...or decades). But as of right now, God needs me to focus wholly on His plan for my life and focus on growing into a woman that would be prepared for marriage; a woman who would be a good partner for a fantastically, wonderful Godly man. (Besides, he's probably trekking across the country on his horse right now coming to find me and sweep me off my feet. I wouldn't want to be in another relationship when he shows up...or even worse unprepared. That would just be embarrassing.) Valentine's Day is overrated anyways. I honestly think it should only be shared between married couples, especially since sex is commercialized more than normal around this time.
Issue #2
40 Days of Lent
I've never done Lent before this year. I don't even want to call it Lent. I want to call it a fast. A fast of things that take my focus off God. Mainly Facebook.
Growing up in Price, I was surrounded by diversity of religion and one of the prominent ones (other than Mormonism, of course) was Catholocism. So I definitely grew up knowing what Ash Wednesday and Lent were, but never what they meant. I naively thought it was strictly for Catholics.
Anyways, I'm "fasting" Facebook.
O_o
Yes, that is my "OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS" face. (Ooh, that's cool. 40 days and 40 nights: what did Noah and his family do? They prayed.)
Here's why:
Not only does Facebook encourage procrastination by causing me to waste beautiful time that I could be spending in the fresh air or really getting to know people rather than reading their profile information and learning trivial things such as their fave movies or fave foods, but it also causes me to sit and stare at the home screen waiting for someone to post something that is of remote interest because their lives are almost always more interesting than mine (yes, dripping with sarcasm). Or better yet, it gives me the opportunity to "cyber stalk," as my sister kindly puts it. I get to know what you're doing every minute of the day (especially if you are one of "those people" that post a new status update every 5 seconds). What happened to the old-fashioned way of making friends? I personally feel like FB is causing people to become less personable in real life. Why say something of importance to some in person when you can just as easily (if not more) post it to their wall? Why? Because eventually our generation (or our childrens' at best) will rely so heavily on technology and social networking sites to find us friends and maintain friendships, we won't have any real social skills. We'll be like the badger in Fox and the Hound. Only we'll have cyber friends...he didn't have any friends.
Now don't get me wrong, I will be back on because that's my only real connection with people back home. These last two days have been brutal (how sad), but I'm hoping it gets easier and easier as time goes on. In doing this, 1) I plan on focusing more on my relationship with God and who he wants me to become, 2) catching up in classes and getting good grades, and 3) making lasting friendships. I will be texting/calling/talking to people more often. So if you like me and want to hang out with me, call or text me because I'm not going to be on Facebook. I won't be there for 40 days. Let's just hope the world doesn't end in the next 40 days before I can check my Facebook again. I definitely want to know how many people love me before I go...
Side note: I'm watching people climb the rock wall right now (I have a perfect view from my desk...mostly of the belayer. Dear Belayer (whoever you may be), I'm so sorry for secretly stalking and watching you take the lives of people into your hands. I quite enjoy watching you do this fateful job. Sincerely, Carley). I just decided I want to climb soon. Never have and never had a desire until right now.
I think that's enough for right now.
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