June: showing love through not losing my temper and acting out in anger. I did fairly well. It's always hard for me because, like I said, I am a bit of a hot-head.
It seems like while I'm at home, I don't pick up on a lot of the signs that God gives me. For some reason they are a lot more apparent at school.
July: forgive and forget. I know where I'm going to start. This is going to be a good month.
These keep getting shorter and shorter. Sorry to those who actually read this.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Campaign for Clean Water for Africa
The History of Blood:Water Mission
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL STORY. We're a group of passionate people who have been inspired by our friends in Africa, friends who face unbearable challenges from the HIV/AIDS and water crises. We creatively and thoughtfully raise awareness and the necessary funds for the provision of clean blood and clean water in sub-Saharan Africa.
Hear ye, hear ye! I have wanted to do something like this for a while, but haven't gotten around to it. But as the saying goes, "there is no time like the present." I want to not only raise awareness, but also money for B:WM and the people of Africa through a benefit concert showcasing a few local bands (if you are interested, please message me unless I haven't already messaged you.) I don't know when it would be, I just decided I have to do this tonight..like 5 minutes ago. I'm going to need people to help with all kinds of stuff and if no one volunteers, then I will seek you out and force you to help...well, not really, but kind of. This is an incredible opportunity to help people across the world, people that are suffering, people who you may never meet, people who need to be shown love and compassion, people who are so full of joy despite their less-than-joyful circumstances, people we can learn from!
Basically, it will be a benefit concert (as I already stated) featuring local bands/artists (you don't have to be a band, you could just be an awesome soloist). I won't charge admission (sooo, if you have a problem with that, we don't really need you), but will ask for donations while raising awareness of the conditions people are actually living in. I'm going to need creative people, tech-savvy people, talented people, organized people, or just...people. I would love if you helped me out. This is still in the planning process, so no absolutes yet, but I promise, THIS WILL HAPPEN!!!! Even if one person shows up and donates $1, they will be helping provide water for 1 African for 1 year (incredible, i know!).
If you want more info on B:WM, you can visit their site http://www.bloodwatermissi
I really, really, really hope you want to help me out. I'll buy you ice cream or something. I'll also be contacting some people personally via phone/email/fb/any other form of technology.
(P.S. this is generally regarding the people of St. George, but hey if you're not a Georgian and you want to help out, feel free to jump on a plane and fly down to the hottest place you'll ever visit!)
Just take a look at these beautiful photos! If that doesn't pull at your heart strings, I don't know what will.
For updates on this whole process, please visit: www.serviseistheword.blogspot.com
Thanks all!!
Oh, and donations are gladly accepted :)
Late One...again
Well, May went well. I struggled at times. I can't think of any "braches" God taught me this month, but I'm sure there were some, just less visible. I can be a pretty selfish person at times, but thankfully, I really tried.
June: I must control my temper. Yikees! I will admit, I am a hot head at times, but I think I can do this. Count to ten, right? 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...then scream into a pillow. Awesome.
Pray for me, please!
June: I must control my temper. Yikees! I will admit, I am a hot head at times, but I think I can do this. Count to ten, right? 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...then scream into a pillow. Awesome.
Pray for me, please!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
May, May, May, May I Please?
May's challenge: put others before me. Thus far, I've done fairly well. Off and on. I'm a selfish person, I know that, so I knew this month would be slightly difficult. And opportunities always present themselves, but even though I recognize them doesn't mean I'll actually take that opportunity and run with it. I'm trying, I really am, but it's hard and sometimes I just want to think about me.
April was "don't be rude." That did not work out so well. I failed in the nice department. I got very irritable (which also means I failed in the patience department, as well) and would let my sarcasm get out of hand, to the point where it wasn't really sarcasm, I only passed it off as that so I wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. I feel bad. So really, May is all about being nice and putting others before me.
Even though it really doesn't have anything to do with...anything, I'm learning how to apologize. Ever since I was little, I hated apologizing. My pride has always been a problem in that area. SO I guess what I'm saying is that month of no pride really worked out for me...even if it IS a few months late.
I'm home. It is fabulous and I have so many jobs lined up. God definitely provides. Unfortunately, I was unable to donate at BioLife because of low iron, but hopefully I get that up before the end of summer so I can donate my plasma at least a few times.
This summer is going to be a summer of overcoming fear and becoming more independent. How I'm going to do that, you ask? Well, first of all, I got a job at a call center. If you know me even slightly well, you know I HATE to call people. I hate calling anyone, even my family sometimes. It terrifies me. It is an irrational fear that I am so excited to get over. Not only will it help me this summer, but it is also going to give me the experience I need to become an admissions counselor so I can take after Tessa. :)
Needles are another fear I have. Donating plasma requires being stuck...many, many times. Like I said, hopefully I'll have the opportunity to overcome that fear.
And finally, I'm terrified of heights, immobilized even. I am not positive on how I am going to rid myself of this disease (yes, I consider it my disease), but I will. Hiking, jumping, standing, anything to get rid of it. Next year at school I am DETERMINED to climb that wall. I will! I will! I will!!!
p.s. God is totally watching out for me. I only got a B- in Intro to Psych. I expected at the most a C-. A B- isn't fabulous, but it's college, my grades aren't as important and God has control (something I've had to learn quite often this past year).
April was "don't be rude." That did not work out so well. I failed in the nice department. I got very irritable (which also means I failed in the patience department, as well) and would let my sarcasm get out of hand, to the point where it wasn't really sarcasm, I only passed it off as that so I wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. I feel bad. So really, May is all about being nice and putting others before me.
Even though it really doesn't have anything to do with...anything, I'm learning how to apologize. Ever since I was little, I hated apologizing. My pride has always been a problem in that area. SO I guess what I'm saying is that month of no pride really worked out for me...even if it IS a few months late.
I'm home. It is fabulous and I have so many jobs lined up. God definitely provides. Unfortunately, I was unable to donate at BioLife because of low iron, but hopefully I get that up before the end of summer so I can donate my plasma at least a few times.
This summer is going to be a summer of overcoming fear and becoming more independent. How I'm going to do that, you ask? Well, first of all, I got a job at a call center. If you know me even slightly well, you know I HATE to call people. I hate calling anyone, even my family sometimes. It terrifies me. It is an irrational fear that I am so excited to get over. Not only will it help me this summer, but it is also going to give me the experience I need to become an admissions counselor so I can take after Tessa. :)
Needles are another fear I have. Donating plasma requires being stuck...many, many times. Like I said, hopefully I'll have the opportunity to overcome that fear.
And finally, I'm terrified of heights, immobilized even. I am not positive on how I am going to rid myself of this disease (yes, I consider it my disease), but I will. Hiking, jumping, standing, anything to get rid of it. Next year at school I am DETERMINED to climb that wall. I will! I will! I will!!!
p.s. God is totally watching out for me. I only got a B- in Intro to Psych. I expected at the most a C-. A B- isn't fabulous, but it's college, my grades aren't as important and God has control (something I've had to learn quite often this past year).
Monday, April 26, 2010
Thoughts from the Inner-Soul...
It never ceases to amaze me how paradoxical I can be. In so many areas of my life I strive to be independent and carefree, but it doesn’t always work out that way. For instance, my desire to love and be loved is almost overwhelming at times. I guess you could say I’m a hopeless romantic. Here’s where the paradox plays in: I’m a hopeless romantic who doesn’t believe in true love. Yes, I believe in the purest form of love, but not between two humans. I don’t even believe it’s attainable by any human being, only God.
So many stories and movies make love out to be almost a chemical reaction: an instant spark that is impossible to miss. I’ve grown up WANTING that! I’ve grown up picturing how I would fall in love, how my first kiss would be (which was far from what I pictured), how my fiancé would propose, how my wedding would look, how cute my husband and I would be together, etc…you get the picture. I was that little girl that always made her Barbie’s get married. I’m that girl who had her wedding already planned out by the time she was 12. I’m that girl who wants that love more than anything in the world, but hates the vulnerability it places on her. Yes, I’m that girl. I even went through a phase where I thought I NEEDED that love. (Needless to say, I thought I would get that "spark" when I came to college. Like every great college love story, it happens in the first week and it's easy to build that relationship...yep, didn't happen.)
I don’t want that anymore. I want a real love (yes, I’m beginning to believe…). I want a love that resembles Christ’s love for us. I want a pure, wholesome, beautiful love. A love that I don’t have to initiate!
I’ve thought for a long time that if I wanted something to happen, I would have to take care of it myself (even thought I didn’t). I’ve always been a strong advocate of the traditional boy-asks-girl, but never truly believed it would ever happen to me. Well, I’m going to say this “loud and proud”: I deserve to be pursued, I deserve to be loved completely, and I deserve a beautiful story. All girls deserve that. It’s hard to let go of that control and put your trust in God. I know he’ll bring along the right guy for me…someday, and if not, then it is His will. And if that is the case, I pray that He will make me okay with that. I honestly believe that God puts desires in our hearts (not all, but most), and if something wasn’t going to happen, that desire wouldn’t be present. In saying that, I believe that it will happen, maybe not this year, the next 5 years, or the next 10 years, but it will. I need to learn patience above all else. I don’t know the reasons for my being single for the better part of 19 years, but I do know there are reasons, and I can take a pretty good guess as to what those reasons are, but for now, I just need to be content in where God has me.
Like I said, every woman/girl deserves to be pursued and loved by a Godly man. It’s so sad to see little 13-year-olds flaunting their bodies because they aren’t secure enough in what they have to offer as a person. I just want to say, girls: wait for that love! I may not be a "love-guru" or have near enough experience to be giving "love advice", but I do know that it will be worth the wait; and guys: become a man worthy of giving that love. Oh, and another piece of advice for the guys: get a move on pursuing the girls. I’m sure I can speak for most of them when I say, “we’re tired of waiting.”
(NOTE: For those girls out there that haven't waited, that are impatient, or seem hopeless: God restores hope, He restores! It may be hard to let go of the pain and the feelings of inadequacy or no value, but once you do, the joy and peace is overwhelming. People mess up and God forgives and restores.)
So many stories and movies make love out to be almost a chemical reaction: an instant spark that is impossible to miss. I’ve grown up WANTING that! I’ve grown up picturing how I would fall in love, how my first kiss would be (which was far from what I pictured), how my fiancé would propose, how my wedding would look, how cute my husband and I would be together, etc…you get the picture. I was that little girl that always made her Barbie’s get married. I’m that girl who had her wedding already planned out by the time she was 12. I’m that girl who wants that love more than anything in the world, but hates the vulnerability it places on her. Yes, I’m that girl. I even went through a phase where I thought I NEEDED that love. (Needless to say, I thought I would get that "spark" when I came to college. Like every great college love story, it happens in the first week and it's easy to build that relationship...yep, didn't happen.)
I don’t want that anymore. I want a real love (yes, I’m beginning to believe…). I want a love that resembles Christ’s love for us. I want a pure, wholesome, beautiful love. A love that I don’t have to initiate!
I’ve thought for a long time that if I wanted something to happen, I would have to take care of it myself (even thought I didn’t). I’ve always been a strong advocate of the traditional boy-asks-girl, but never truly believed it would ever happen to me. Well, I’m going to say this “loud and proud”: I deserve to be pursued, I deserve to be loved completely, and I deserve a beautiful story. All girls deserve that. It’s hard to let go of that control and put your trust in God. I know he’ll bring along the right guy for me…someday, and if not, then it is His will. And if that is the case, I pray that He will make me okay with that. I honestly believe that God puts desires in our hearts (not all, but most), and if something wasn’t going to happen, that desire wouldn’t be present. In saying that, I believe that it will happen, maybe not this year, the next 5 years, or the next 10 years, but it will. I need to learn patience above all else. I don’t know the reasons for my being single for the better part of 19 years, but I do know there are reasons, and I can take a pretty good guess as to what those reasons are, but for now, I just need to be content in where God has me.
Like I said, every woman/girl deserves to be pursued and loved by a Godly man. It’s so sad to see little 13-year-olds flaunting their bodies because they aren’t secure enough in what they have to offer as a person. I just want to say, girls: wait for that love! I may not be a "love-guru" or have near enough experience to be giving "love advice", but I do know that it will be worth the wait; and guys: become a man worthy of giving that love. Oh, and another piece of advice for the guys: get a move on pursuing the girls. I’m sure I can speak for most of them when I say, “we’re tired of waiting.”
(NOTE: For those girls out there that haven't waited, that are impatient, or seem hopeless: God restores hope, He restores! It may be hard to let go of the pain and the feelings of inadequacy or no value, but once you do, the joy and peace is overwhelming. People mess up and God forgives and restores.)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Metamorphosis
Life inching along,
transformed into a winged song.
Overnight: a change has occurred.
Taking flight.
Feel the effect of
perseverence,
joy,
change.
Once despised, now cherished.
Wrapped in comfort,
emerging unseathed and renewed.
Once slow, now rejuvinated.
Once trapped, now free.
The time has come.
Once vile, now beautiful.
A change long awaited.
A complete transformation.
A metamorphosis.
transformed into a winged song.
Overnight: a change has occurred.
Taking flight.
Feel the effect of
perseverence,
joy,
change.
Once despised, now cherished.
Wrapped in comfort,
emerging unseathed and renewed.
Once slow, now rejuvinated.
Once trapped, now free.
The time has come.
Once vile, now beautiful.
A change long awaited.
A complete transformation.
A metamorphosis.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Big, Blended Smoothie of Feelings
I've been feeling inadequate lately.
I don't know how to explain these feelings. I understand that everything happens for a reason, but I wish I could see the bigger picture. I wish I could have God's mind and see what God sees. Wouldn't that be incredible? I don't know if my brain could comprehend, much less function if I knew everything He knew. God is amazing.
One of my biggest fears in coming to a new place where no one knew me was not being as successful as I was in high school; or, even more so, finding out that everything I had been told, every "talent" people had encouraged would turn out to be fake and I would learn that everyone lied to me. Delusion is something I DO NOT want to experience. Despite the fact that I know this is untrue, I can't help but wonder why I feel like God is leading me in directions just to have Him say, "no, I don't want you to do this now." I feel like it may be a test of pride...again!
I understand God has a hand in everything: He opens and closes doors. Like I said, He knows what He's doing. I better not question Him.
Oh well, I'm glad that I can rest in the knowledge that there's a reason behind all things and He has much bigger things for me! And hey, now I'll have a bunch of time for homework...and classes...and sitting around...and other important stuff.
I still wonder how many ways "sorry, not right now" can be said?
"You're fired."
"You are the weakest link!"
"The tribe has spoken..."
"Dun, dun, dun!!!! You have been voted off the island."
Good thing God isn't mean and his is always a simple "not right now, darling." I'm so thankful He loves me unconditionally, despite all my flaws.
I don't know how to explain these feelings. I understand that everything happens for a reason, but I wish I could see the bigger picture. I wish I could have God's mind and see what God sees. Wouldn't that be incredible? I don't know if my brain could comprehend, much less function if I knew everything He knew. God is amazing.
One of my biggest fears in coming to a new place where no one knew me was not being as successful as I was in high school; or, even more so, finding out that everything I had been told, every "talent" people had encouraged would turn out to be fake and I would learn that everyone lied to me. Delusion is something I DO NOT want to experience. Despite the fact that I know this is untrue, I can't help but wonder why I feel like God is leading me in directions just to have Him say, "no, I don't want you to do this now." I feel like it may be a test of pride...again!
I understand God has a hand in everything: He opens and closes doors. Like I said, He knows what He's doing. I better not question Him.
Oh well, I'm glad that I can rest in the knowledge that there's a reason behind all things and He has much bigger things for me! And hey, now I'll have a bunch of time for homework...and classes...and sitting around...and other important stuff.
I still wonder how many ways "sorry, not right now" can be said?
"You're fired."
"You are the weakest link!"
"The tribe has spoken..."
"Dun, dun, dun!!!! You have been voted off the island."
Good thing God isn't mean and his is always a simple "not right now, darling." I'm so thankful He loves me unconditionally, despite all my flaws.
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