The Beauty of Womanhood

I found this on someone else's blog.  Click here to see her craziness.  She's a little out there and new-agey, but a lot of what she says makes sense to me.



From her "I Love Being a Woman"
 

I loved singing lullabies to my babies.
 
I loved sitting on the bed of the youngest child,
with all my children gathered around and reading stories to them.
This always led to conversations about what worried them or
what funny things happened to them.
 
I loved having my children bring me potato bugs, dandelions,
blossoms off the trees for evidence of their love to me.


Children are a beauty. I have the capacity to carry them within me,
grow them from my own soul.

the inexplicable pull i feel towards others.
I have love as deep as an ocean in my heart.

Intuition. I care for people, almost too much at times.
I can feel others feelings with such acuteness, it makes me ache.
But I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I get to be a work of art! Wearing beautiful skirts and dresses with long flowing hair
makes me feel like a fairy.
I love to drift around and pretend that I am a painting.

Other women. Our great Mother has brought us all together and lets us feel
the power of each others souls.

I am allowed to cry. Not that men aren't, but I'm almost expected to.
And believe you me, I take full advantage.

Everything feels like everything to me.
Mother Nature brings me to my knees,
children leave me breathless,
and the warmth of my husband makes me weak. I can feel!

We are fighters and we are strong, but we still need to be taken care of.
Pride is not in our blood.

My own mother makes me proud to be a woman.
The wealth of wisdom and love that she has poured out upon my hungry soul has made me
who I am. I have seen her struggle and overcome,
she has taught me what it is to be a mother, child, wife, and woman.

She has a lot of insight and I can definitely relate with her by saying, "I love being a woman, too!"  I can relate to a lot of the feelings she is portraying and I think every woman should be proud of who she is and how she has been created because there is a certain beauty in womanhood that cannot be found anywhere else.  God has created us as beautiful creatures: made to love, nurture, and care for those in need.  What a wonderful call. 

(Funny how 6 months ago, I would have claimed to be borderline feminist.  I think recognizing how God created me and what He created me to be has helped change those ideas.  I see the differences between men and women now and I am able to honor those and see the beauty of both, without an overlap.)

A Bit to Share

 ⁷Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹²No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.                                 [1 Jn 4:7-12]

This passage really hit home. My New Year's resolution, as you all know by now, is to live a life of love: "12 Months of Love" according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. This passage basically summed up love; specifically, God's love for His children. Several times throughout the passage it says, "God is love." Thinking about how hard it is to define God, we can easily say that He is love. What is love? Love drives out fear, love is genuine, love is unconditional, there is confidence in love, love is God (and God is love). It's such a vast concept, but nonetheless, it is incredible. My favorite verses in the passage are verses 10 and 12: "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins...No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." This is how we love. Love is the foundation of a Christian Relationship; between Christ and his people and among brothers and sisters in Christ.

Back to the Future

I am a little slow on the updates...sorry about that.

I started this post during Spring Break, but I never got around to finishing it.  It was good, too, but unfortunately, I had to delete most of it because it was no longer relevant to my situation here and now.

March was--how do I say this--frustrating.  "Love does not boast.  Love is not proud."  First of all, I'm not so great at the whole no boasting part.  I'm not really sure what constitutes "boasting?"  I talk about my family a lot, but I don't think that's boasting.  I also don't really understand how love and boasting are related in any way.  I guess it plays into the aspect of love that is not selfish and cares for other people rather than focusing on one's self.  I don't know.  I think I need to work a little bit harder on that part this month.

Now, onto pride.  Oh my goodness!  My pride was poked and prodded and deflated a few times this last month.  Like I said in a previous post, God seems to have more in mind for me than just getting me through the month focused on one aspect.  I thought getting rid of pride was going to be easy because, of course, I didn't think I was that prideful.  I was wrong!

Let's rewind back to February.  I took my first exam in Intro to Psych.  I actually failed.  54%.  I don't fail tests.  I've never failed a test before that.  I was pretty upset with myself for not taking it seriously, but Dr. Norman said we could retake the test later (this month).  So I wasn't too worried about it.  Then in March we took our second exam.  I actually studied (not much, but more than the first) and I only got a 67%.  Now this devastated me.  I was appalled.  I could not believe that I had gone through high school thinking I was smart when all along I was really dumb.  Prior to that fateful day, I had been praying that God would reveal to me aspects of my life that I hadn't surrendered to Him.  Welp, that's just what He did.  It was pointed out to me that maybe this was God's way of not only showing me aspects I hadn't given up, but also hurting my pride, which caused me to see that, yes, I actually am prideful.  I thought about it a bit more and I realized that I've always taken pride in my academics, in my grades.  I know I'm smart.  (I also kind of boast about this sometimes...)  Our exam was Wednesday, that night I figured there wasn't much I could do about it and God was an infinity times bigger than me, so I gave it to Him: my final grade, my academics (I mean, He is the one who gave me the brain capacity I have), and my worry.  I felt better about it, but I was still slightly upset.  On Friday I went into class contemplating withdrawal.  Norman started talking about a solution he had for the last exam.  He gave us a way to raise exam #2 15 percentage points.  So where I got a 67, I could raise my percentage to an 83.  Easy!  Essay questions from the chapters we had been tested on.  God definitely comes through for us.  I was so amazed.  God is so good!  He loves me, He cares about me.  He cares about my grades!  He cares that I care about my grades.  And guess what, because my pride was decapitated (best descriptor I could think of), I'm learning to rely more on God when it comes to classes and that essentially my grades are not as important to God as other things.  Oh yeah, I've also surrendered academics to God (as well as relationship status).  I know there are probably other things that I need to surrender, but I'm hesitant to pray for revelation because it turned out to bite me in the butt last time.

April: love is not rude
I can do this...with His help.

In the Words of My Fantastic Friends...

Despite the slight creepiness of the video, I love this song.

Theism: Anti and Pro

I think we as Christians have a calling to love everyone!  Yes, that includes those who oppose us.  This is anything we find "ungodly" or "unwholesome": Atheism, homosexuality, other religious group, etc.  Honestly, sometimes its hard to look past this fact and become people on agreeable terms, possibly friends.  So many Christians use fear to try "converting" the opposition: YOU'RE GOING TO HELL IF YOU DON'T CHANGE!  Or my favorite, the Bible says this and this.  Also, the most horrendous excuse, God won't love you unless you change.  (For my "opposing" friends: none of these are true...except for the first one, but that's beside the point--I don't want to scare you into my belief window.)

Here's the dealio: Jesus died for my sins, your sins, his sins, her sins.  He died, He was crucified, He was shamed to show God's love for each and every single person past, present, and future.  Oh, and the best part, the aspect that inspires hope in our hearts for a transformed life: the resurrection.  He rose from the dead 3 days later.  That's God's love because, now, we can overcome sin to be in the presence of God.  No matter who you are, God loves you.  He wants you.  He wants you to love Him.  Despite our differences in opinion, I still love you.  I will love you forever because when Christ died and I accepted His death as a gift of salvation, He gave me the ability to love as He does.  Maybe it's how I was brought up, maybe it's where I went to high school...all I know is the fact that I have learned how to separate the sin from the sinner--in every case (christian, non-christian)

Now you may ask what sparked this blog?  There's a new group on Facebook called Hey Facebook!... Atheist Groups are NOT Hate Groups! Stop Banning Them!  Here's the thing: if we as Christians think that Atheist Groups are hate groups, then aren't we the same?  I mean, yeah, they dis our beliefs, organized religion, the idea of intelligent design and God Himself.  But don't we dis the belief of NO God, NO intelligent design, evolution, and science?

Yes, I do have my days when I wonder why people choose to be Atheist.  I personally don't believe in organized religion; I believe in a relationship with my LORD and Savior and the never ending hope there is in the Cross, not rules and regulations.  There are days that I wonder why people deny the possibility of God.  What do you have to lose?  If you're Atheist, there's no afterlife.  If you're secure in the knowledge of Christ crucified, there's Heaven.  Then I have to remember that despite our differences, God loves us nonetheless.  


I may not be able to change your mind by scaring you with the prospects of hell, or with the Bible (even though I believe it is the inspired word of God...that doesn't apply to someone who doesn't believe), or with no love.  The only thing that I can hope and pray for is that you notice a difference in me (and other Christians...c'mon) and recognize the love as not coming from me, but from something greater, something better, someone MIGHTIER!  My God, my love, my LORD!

Fire vs Water

This fire inside of me longs to burn for Him.
It's burning, it's hot.
But there's a little faucet that found its way.
It found a cozy spot right above my fire.
It's dripping, dripping, dripping lies; dripping and quenching my fire, my warmth, my life.
It is suffocating the flames.
It is dripping!
These tiny drops are not enough to douse my fire, but enough to make it flicker and sizzle.
It has an opposite effect.  Usually water satisfies, but this is lying water, this is not desirable water.  It burns like fire, it tears like fangs, and it scabs, then it scars.
The scars are reminders of my past and who I was.  Reminders of the desperation and the discouragement.
I see my scars and it comes back: the darkness called discouragement.  The wounds are reopened, reborn (or died).
Why can't His scars be enough?
His scars cover mine, the fire consumes the damaged flesh and renews, restores, and rebirths.
The old scars are a reminder from the enemy of my past; the new scars remind the enemy of his future.
Praise be to my God, praise be to Him.

A Month Envy-less

My challenge for February was getting rid of any envy or envious thoughts.  This was somewhat difficult seeing as how February is known for Valentine's Day and anything "relationship" oriented.  If you know me, you know I want a relationship and have wanted one for as long as I can remember. 

I did surprisingly well.  I just had to ignore the massive amounts of couples piling up around me, which wasn't hard...with God's help, of course.  Like I said in a previous post, I've begun to realize that a relationship is far from the thing I need right now.  I've put it this way: I've been so willing to give my life to God and give him complete control, but I always kept the "relationship" area of my life in a death grip of my right hand while I offered the rest of me with my left hand.  This month, I finally let go of my death grip.  Honestly, it was absolutely relieving.  Peace, utter peace flowed over me.  I don't really know how to explain it.  The reason I was holding on so tight to that aspect of my life is because I was afraid that if I gave it up, God wouldn't give me what I want so badly, He would take it away forever and I would be devastated.  Even though I didn't do anything with it (and it was more stressful when I had "control" of it), I liked the idea of me being in control so I could do anything whenever I wanted.  What I didn't realize is the fact that when I gave it up, I was no longer worried that God would be a "big meanie" and keep the candy in eye-sight but out of reach.  I know that He has absolute control of every aspect of my life and it's quite a relief.  I never realized how much of a burden it is to carry your own load.  It's quite nice when God helps out.  It's like I'm a little kid who can barely lift her backpack after a long day at kindergarten, but my daddy helps me lift it into the back of the car.  Another thing I failed to realize is by giving up this dream of mine and knowing God has control of it, if it doesn't end up coming true, I'll be able to rest in the knowledge that it's God's will, not something I did wrong.  God does everything right; I don't...

I don't know if any of this makes sense, it hardly even makes sense to me, but all I know is that I'm not worried a smidgen.  It will happen all in good time, in God's time, and if it doesn't happen (as terrifying as it is) I will be okay.  I can honestly say right now that as much as I want to be married and raise my babies, the idea of it not happening doesn't scare me in the least.  I can't believe I am saying it, but I will be OKAY!  My life will be fulfilled for God in some other way.  My dreams will change if they don't line up with God's.  It blows my mind to see how much I've been learning just in the past two months.  I think opening up my mind to this "12 Months of Love" challenge is also opening doors to more learning opportunities. 

It's like a tree each month.  The trunk of February was NO ENVY.  Some of the branches were giving up my "dream," "realizing that God has bigger plans," "I don't need a relationship right now," "I'll be okay if it never happens," etc.  (same with January.  Trunk: patience and kindness, branches: service.)

Moreover, I built on the patience and kindness this month as well.  I love when I catch myself being irritable or mean because I pray and there's an instantaneous change.  God works.  He actually works!

March?  Love is not boastful or prideful.  No one-upping and no talking about all my accomplishments, my sisters' accomplishments, etc.  This is going to be kind of difficult.